No one is perfect. No relationship is perfect. If the relationship is real, there WILL be conflict and the need for hard conversations as times. Without a willingness to repair, to consider the impact caused, resentment will grow and the unheard person will spend a lot of time living in survival mode.
Love this metaphor from Kati Morton. A toddler in distress will keep tugging on you for attention. Feelings are kind of the same way. If we don't hear them out, they just get louder.
The healthiest option? Let them ride in the backseat. With a seatbelt. 
The drama triangle. Brene' Brown's most recent book got me back to this concept and checking to see if I am above or below the line. The line = fear. Moving from the drama triangle to The Empowerment Dynamic is a great way to restore your energy.

Recommended Reading / Resources

Self-Leadership & Self-Sovereignty
  • The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership - Dethmer & Champan
  • Strong Ground - Brene' Brown
  • Reality Based Leadership - Cy Wakeman
Relationships, Boundaries, Attachment
  • The Dance of Intimacy - Harriet Lerner
  • ​The State of Affairs - Esther Perel
  • You Are The One You've Been Waiting For - Richard C. Schwartz
Spiritual/Energetic Frameworks
  • Ask And It Is Given - Abraham-Hicks
  • Letting Go - David Hawkins
  • The Power Of Now - Eckhart Tolle
Trauma, Nervous System, Inner Healing
  • The Myth of Normal - Gabor Mate'
  • Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People - Lindsay C. Gibson
  • The Body Keeps The Score - Bessel van der Kolk
Identity, Meaning, Second Half of Life
  • Falling Upward - Richard Rohr
  • Forgive Everyone Everything - Greg Boyle
  • A Return To Love - Marianne Williamson

All the books listed here have had deep impact on me. They've taught me, changed me and guide my coaching of others and of myself. They have helped form the framework I use.